Things to Remember:
1. The keys to the shed are on the nail inside the garage door.
2. The dog is allergic to Cap’n Crunch. You’re allergic to naproxen.
3. Everyone you know wants something that you’ve got: your time, your money, your wife, children. Otherwise they wouldn’t be your friends.
4. There’s only one “m” in pimento.
5. Mom’s birthday is August 9, and it always has been.
6. In necessariis unitas, in non-necessariis libertas, in utrisque caritas.
7. Put #5 in your Outlook calendar as a recurring event. Set it for the 8th.
8. You’re AB-, *not* AB+. Repeating that mistake would be bad.
9. Even your best friend will take what is yours given the opportunity and regardless of the consequences.
10. Your work password is your mother’s middle name, your city of birth, last 4 digits of your phone number.
11. Mom’s middle name is Elaine.
12. Everyone has an agenda. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Trust no one.
Filed under: Poetry
